Tuesday, July 24, 2012

With four blogs it's difficult to know which is best for the following blog entry -- maybe I'll put it on all of them. Things You Hear at the Kinko's on Queen Street A gray haired, professional looking gentleman is copying furiously, totally focused on his task, with his small briefcase and various documents placed on the work surface next to his machine. Two more "elderly" gentlemen (locals) approach the machine next to his with Suzie (names changed to protect the innocent) the friendly blond Kinko's employee who seems on the low end of the employee totem pole, and is frequently seen giving assistance to customers who are unsure of themselves or confused or have problems making their copies. Suzie is invariably patient and solicitous, and often makes a remark like: "Don't worry. It happens to everybody." Suzie places the customers' materials on the counter to the left of their machine, and after some small talk and joking has the fellows set up in no time. Soon their copies are flying out for their inspection. The non-Asian of the pair grabs up the copies as they emerge (11" X 17" construction drawings)and spreads them on the counter in use by the first gentleman, who watches for a few minutes without comment, trying to draw attention to himself by clearing his throat and looking in the other fellow's direction. But the preoccupied local fellow is oblivious, pulling out his pen and making marks on the drawing. Eventually, when his first batch of documents is finished, he picks up the copies, walks behind the interloper, puts the papers down on the counter next to his briefcase, and mumbles, "I guess I'm invisible." This finally gets the attention of the other, who says nothing for a minute or so, then turns to his companion and says: "I guess I'm invisible. Only a haole would say a something like that. I guess that's why they get knocked down." Haole: "And only a Portagee would say something like that. I guess that's why they get their asses kicked." Local: (Looking straight ahead at the wall)"Not by haoles they don't." Haole: (Looking directly at the other, and raising his voice) "Don't be too sure braddah. I was married to one Portagee for 40 years, and I know a thing or two about what makes you guys tick." Local: (Turning to face the haole) "I'm married to a white woman." Haole: You're a very lucky, man. And let me ask you sir, what would you have said if I had done what you did." Local: "I'm not finished !I thought you were finished." Haole: "So, you thought I was finished. That's funny -- I don't think I look finished. I thought you didn't see me. I thought maybe I was so white you couldn't see me." Local: (Turning to his Asian companion) "Can you believe what he said? Would you have said -- I guess I'm invisible?" The other guy says nothing and looks uncomfortable. The haole says, "Well, let me apologize to you sir. I apologize for saying "I guess I'm invisible. And I apologize for looking finished. And I apologize for being so white." And the local guy says: v v v v v v v v v Scroll down v v v v v v v v v Wait for it ... v v v v v v v v v And the local guy says: "I accept your apology." And the two shake hands and part company.