Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Writing Things Down


As I was falling to sleep the other night I thought of a great "Mormon Joke" and chuckled so long that I considered getting up and writing it down. I didn't, and of course the next day I could only remember that I'd laughed about it, and I've been trying to remember it ever since. It will go so well with the Christian Stand-up Routine I started writing awhile back but can't share here because of course someone might steal my material. I'm going to ask my brother Pat for help later in the week when son John and I go to Kaua`i. The point is, I've resolved to start using this venue to make a record of my epiphanies, brain farts, nightmares, and religious visions. What else is a blog for?
So, here's the latest brain fart, or whatevah. As my brain and I were having our early morning discussion about how the day would turn out, what we thought of yesterday's happenings, what needs to be accomplished in the remainder of the week, etc., I began a conversation in my head explaining to hypothetical Mormon friends the basis of my decision to join their church and hang out with them. The fact that they are all wonderful people and mostly rich folks who do exciting things like cruise around the world and experiment with ways to make even more money would not be sufficient to justify my conversion to them, I assume. My LDS mother-in-law, who knows what an accomplished "lawyer / liar" (spin artist?) I am when it suits my purpose, recently opined that any dicision to become a Mormon should be sincere. We didn't waste breath debating the meaning of sincerity, but I know that I will not quit drinking things with caffeine in them, and if I'm asked by anyone whether I'm addicted to coffee, I certainly won't bother to lie. So if they want to keep me from beoming a "latter day saint" on those grounds, so be it. I assume it's more likely that the gatekeepers will decide "better a Jack Mormon who tithes as required" than a heathen, and will welcome me with open arms. More on ideas such as "leap of faith" and how quantum physics and creationism are entirely compatible later, for now I simply want to record my idea for the creation of an International Island of Faith here in Hawaii. My dream would be that it could be located in what is now Volcanoes National Park after the U.S. cedes it to a newly created and sovereign Native Hawaiian entity. Since Hawaiians apparently won't be permitted to create gambling casinos here in the islands but will no doubt want to have a "visitor industry", I envision a huge campus with visitor accomodations and a place of worship for every religion in the world that wishes to be included, along with a central teaching complex, and of course space for any other group that wishes to construct its own facilities. I will be the Executive Director, of course.
That's all for now. Have a great day.

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